+447986694114 hello@sasstetzlaff.com
Moving Heaven is the story of how I went from being severely depressed and confused to feeling full of love and joy, confidence and clarity for probably the first time in my life. It’s a tale of looking for the answers to so many questions and finding out that I have them all within me, I just had to look in the right place.
My inner journey began a few years ago when I admitted to myself and my GP that maybe, perhaps, there was the possibility that I might be depressed. 
Without boring you with the details we established between us that I was a pretty serious case and that something should be done. So I consented to taking the pills and having therapy. (I actually had two lots in tandem, one by phone and one in person, I felt so bad.) 

 

The phone therapy was ok but was a bit “tick boxy”. However,  it was free and available whereas I had to wait a while for a therapist, so why not.
The in person sessions were much more useful. During the course of my sessions which lasted over 6 moths initially, I learned that the behaviour I had been subjected to by my female parent and to some extent, my male sibling while growing up was not what would be considered “normal” and I was still under her influence as we had bought a house together about 16 years previously. 
Hell, that kind of blew the lid off things and opened all sorts of doors in my head. Long story short, this led me to do some research on a condition known as “narcissistic personality disorder”. Fascinating stuff and if you ever think you might be living with someone with this condition, my advice to you is to get the hell out of Dodge and run for the hills.
Yes there are tactics and ploys you can employ to try to safeguard yourself and minimise the effects but, really?? Just go. Save yourself the aggravation of never getting anywhere or making progress with this person, just cut your losses and leave.
Your sanity will thank you, hell, it will throw you a party. 
While that may sound easy to do on paper, it isn’t necessarily that easy in practice but it is worth the effort. It took me over a year of therapy before I got to the stage where I felt strong enough in myself to be able to insist we put the house on the market and deal with the backlash and then another two years to get the house sold and make the move. During that time I carried on searching for the answer to the questions of what, why, how and when that kept running around in my head. 
What did I do to deserve this life I’d been given? 
Why didn’t I realise sooner about the way narcs treat the people they feed on and thus free myself from the pain years ago? I dished out so much recrimination onto myself for being such a fool, for wasting so many years. 
How do I reverse over half a century of indoctrination and conditioning? Was there even a way to do this if the situation begins even before you are born?
When would I begin to feel better, more human, more myself? 
Some of these questions I’ve answered or resolved since and some are still a work in progress but I will share with you some of the tricks and tactics I used that helped me on the way to rediscover the joy in my life.
Hopefully they will help you too if you are looking for some answers.